Hello

Thanks for taking the time to read my hopefully humourous (or humorous if you are American) health issue story. As stated, for my own therapeutic reasons, I decided to write a short story about the experience to share with friends. I titled it:

How open heart surgery tickled my funny bone

For better or worse I guess I’ve always had a Pollyanna personalty. I think I’ve always tried to look for the good bits (or the funny bits) in any situation. “Do the best with the cards you are dealt” my Dad used to say.

But I have to admit I found it challenging to do this when, ten days before Christmas 2009, I was diagnosed as needing open heart surgery. It was tempting to think “Why me. Life’s not fair!” Four of the major arteries feeding my heart were showing up to a 90% blockage in them. “You need a quadruple by-pass” the surgeon said. “And you need it sooner rather than later.”

“Now that you know that” said the surgeon “one alternative is to go away, think about it and come back in January. The second alternative is I can schedule an extra operating day and operate on you the day after tomorrow.”

Why would I want to go away and think about it....was the first thought that flooded my brain. I was a walking time bomb. One good sneeze and I could blow myself off the earth! “Let’s do it ASAP - today - NOW” I said to my new best friend - my caring cardiologist.

“I have to discuss two other things with you” said my new best friend. “Firstly the risks involved in this kind of surgery and, secondly, my fee structure.”

Ahhhh this is my kind of guy. Cut to the chase. What’s it going to cost and what are the chances of success? My only problem was I was being thrust into a fee negotiation where I did not know the rules and had little time for research or comparative shopping.

Years ago, one of my business mentors, Mike Schoettler, taught me an invaluable negotiating tactic when you are ‘out of your depth‘ in negotiating on products with which you have little knowledge. Mike recommends, when you are quoted a price, you simply ask the question “Is that your best price?” You will be amazed at the number of times, when you try this, the quoted price begins to tumble...and tumble!

But, in these ‘fee structure discussions’ with my new best friend, who was going to save my life, it really did not seem a smart thing to ask “Is that your best price?” when he told me his fees. After all, how do you value another 20/30 years of life? And, how would ever know the going price for a a six hour heart operation? And you can’t do comparative shopping for this at a Supermarket! I’ve made made a mental note to ask Mike Schoettler what he thought might happen if my caring cardiologist had gotten half way into the operation and remembered “Ummmmm... this is the guy who screwed me on my fees!” :)

Ahhhh...but assessing odds and a game of chance has always interested me. I guess it is because I come from a gambling background. My father was a hotelier/bookmaker in the Australian NSW country town of Moree. I have followed in his footsteps. I’ve worked in and owned and operated pubs all my life. And, as for gambling, each year I publish an annual e-book “How to pick the winner of the Melbourne Cup” at www.PickTheCupWinner.com.au

When my caring cardiologist advised the chances of me departing the mortal coil were only around 2% it seemed like a good bet. But then...doubt crept in.

My research indicated my caring cardiologist was amongst the best in the business. I was told he had never lost a patient. I pondered “Does that mean the odds are in my favour or are they against me.”

Compare the odds to a roulette wheel. If the wheel is spun a thousand times, at the end of session about 50% of the winning numbers will be black and about 50% will be red. 50% will be odd numbers and 50% will be even numbers, 50% will be high numbers (19-36) and 50% will be low numbers (1-18). These are the odds. These are the rules. But accepting 2% odds when my CC has a perfect record...ummmmmm....was I betting with the odds or against the odds?

But then, a variation to change the odds raised its head. You see, at the hospital I shared a room with an Irish Priest who was having a similar operation. Now, religiously, I was brought up as a Catholic. But years ago I developed doubts and confusion in my mind as to wether there is ‘something beyond’ or not. And if a Supreme Being does exist should I be doffing my hat and addressing him (or her) as Allah, Mohammed, Buddah or just Big G.

“If it happens to be ‘Big G’ I could be in a bit of trouble” I thought. “If Big G had to cash in the chips of someone on the operating table today,” I pondered, “would it be the good holy Irish Priest or the beer swilling, Melbourne Cup betting publican?” Ummm....what do YOU think? My odds were not looking good!

But enough of my waffling. I need to get to the end of the story. I wrote this article in my hospital bed on Christmas Day 2009. Currently my chest looks like like I have been used for bayonet practice by troops headed for Afghanistan. My legs and arms look like I have walked the Amazon Jungle in shorts and thongs.

And, twelve months ago I embarrassed my 12 yr old grand daughter, while shopping with her, when I asked a shop assistant if she thought I looked like Hugh Jackman. She, joining the joke, said she could see the likeness. Unfortunately the scarring will now prevent Hugh and I from ever being confused again!

Finally, the little bad news is takes approximately six weeks to fully recover. (So they tell me) The good news is, with unrestricted blood flowing through my veins, I will soon be better, fitter, stronger and more active than ever. And even better....I have friends like you. Thank you. Let's make 2010 a FANTASTIC year for both of us.

Sincerely

Max Hitchins

max@hitchins.com.au

www.HospitalityDoctor.com

PS. If you really ‘must know’ what a by pass operation looks like I found one on Youtube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWSUJlzo3zo. I watched it a few days before the operation. Ummmm....not sure that was such a good idea. :) The bit where they use an electric saw to cut through your chest bone to prise it open to get at your heart (so they can pull it out and put on the operating table) is definitely daunting! Ahhhhhhhh